Thursday, March 3, 2011

How Often Do You Think About Sex In A Day? Is There A Normal?

My husband is always asking me how often I think about sex during the day.  I know that he thinks about it A LOT.  A majority of his daily phone calls to me somehow reference sex.  On the other hand, when I'm sitting in my office hard at work and my husband calls, I promise you that sex is not the first thing that pops into my head.  If you've been reading my blog since the get-go, you will know from the "Date Night" post that we definitely have no issues with frequency.  Yet, he still thinks and talks about sex all the time!

So who's the normal one?  Is there a normal?  I think I can say with confidence that generally men think about sex more often than women do.  Sure, when I was younger and in a new relationship, I thought about sex a whole lot more during the day than I do now as a married woman juggling career, 2 small children, a house to keep, etc. etc.

So I started to do a little bit of research and guess what - every article I found pretty much says something different on how often men vs women think about sex on a daily basis.  Maybe there is no standard (aka "normal").  There is an old wife's tale that says men think about sex every 7 seconds.  That's kind of hard to believe considering they would not be able to function adequately in any capacity if they thought about sex so frequently.  Imagine being in a meeting with a room full of men and they keep spacing out every 7 seconds?  That would be productive... not.

Here's a video from where they posed the question to a bunch of guys:

In an article from Netscape Men, they quote a scientific study that says that 54% of men think about sex several times a day compared to 19% of women.  I can't imagine how distracting this would be.  I would say the only time sex crosses my mind is once the kids are in bed - and then the thought can often be easily dismissed due to fatigue or a good show on TV.  Hey, I'm just being honest.  And that's the reason Date Night is such a huge success in our house - because I don't have to decide - I know it's going to happen.

So why do men think about sex with much more frequency than women?  According to some studies (like one I found on WebMD), it's because men not only have a higher sex drive, but it's also more straightforward.  Our female libidos are apparently much more influenced by environment and context. Men, are you listening?  Maybe you could up the frequency if you set the mood for your woman more often... you know, make sure the dishes are done, the kids are put to sleep, lunches are made for the next day.  Ah, romance takes on a whole new context in married life - and you thought I was going to say light the candles and pour the wine.  Anyway, all joking aside, just ask your wife/partner what would put her in the mood.  Now there's a novel idea!  My husband knows all it takes is a good massage. And I guess now you do too!


  1. I looooooooooooove this post!!! How honest and how true. Seven seconds in our house is a stretch! (love you Steph but C'MON!) I say men can do it when they're dead - and a friend of mine who is Director of a Seniors' home tells me that at night when they do rounds they sometimes have to use the jaws of life to pry these old dudes off the women - even worse cause most of them don't remember past 5 seconds so never mind about the 7 second rule! Good news is you dont have to worry about birth control!

  2. That's hysterical! I was just out for lunch with a couple of girlfriends and we were discussing the topic - one of my friends thinks about it all of the time. We were at Starbucks and as an example, she said you see the frother? It looks like a penis and it froths the milk, which looks like... etc. I swear, that would NEVER have crossed my mind! And of course, during this conversation, my husband called and asked about Date Night tonight LOL.