This week I've been on the sick kid topic quite a bit... so I thought I would just finish off the week and talk about germs. I watched this video on Parents TV and I've got to tell you, OMG, I think ignorance may just be bliss!
Just to share the fun, I thought I would give you some of the highlights:
Did you know that the playground has way more bacteria than a public bathroom? Makes sense since at least the public bathroom does get cleaned but the playground never does.
And the sandbox? Well, guess squirrels and birds amongst other outdoor animals use that as their public bathroom.
Apparently water fountains are dirtier than a public toilet seat - so even if your kids don't put their mouth on it, the water still passes by the opening of the fountain (even if you let the water run for a few seconds first).
Grocery carts are also a germ fest - think about the person who touches the raw meat package that may be dripping on the bottom... well, hands are going back on the handles to push the cart. Yuck.
How about this one - the keyboard and mouse on school computers - they're dirtier than a door knob! They supposedly never get cleaned.
And just a few more before I completely gross you out... public high chairs (they may get wiped, but probably not sanitized), elevator buttons, phones, your kitchen sink, wet laundry (what??? who knew), ATM machines and the remote control. I think I'll stop there or we're all going to end up with some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder!
The unfortunate part is that the "tip" list is very short here on how to avoid all the germs: wash or sanitize your hands as much as possible and don't put your hands near your mouth, nose or eyes. Yup, that's about it. Unless you want to lock yourself away somewhere. And that doesn't really work for your kids. I did find some generic tips on eHow for battling germs in the classroom, but not sure how helpful they really will be. With younger children, it's really about the battle of keeping their hands out of their mouths. If I could count the times I've told my kids not to put their hands in their mouths, I'd most certainly be a millionaire by now. With so many colds, coughs and the flu going around right now, it's bound to hit the majority of households. So I leave you with this video on cold and flu treatment and prevention tips from Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford... and here's to staying well! Have a good weekend.
I've always been an over-achiever. Straight A student, scholarships, sports... I would say pretty much anything I've put my mind to, I've succeeded at... at least to varying degrees. So although before becoming a mom I had heard all about the struggle for balancing career and parenthood and the "having it all" lifestyle, nobody told me about the tremendous amount of guilt that also comes part and parcel.
There are days I just feel like a failure because at the end of the day, I just can't "do it all" without making some sacrifices. My daughter has been home sick for the last 2 days and I want nothing more than to be there to nurture her back to health. She woke up this morning just as I was heading out the door at 6:30am and she was clinging to me and I felt like total utter crap as I had to pull away and leave. When I got home yesterday, she was sitting listlessly on the bed with a fever and all she wanted was to sit curled in my arms. I want to be there for her terribly and I truly hate this feeling. Even when I know she's in good hands at home, oh, the guilt when I can't take care of her myself.
Then there are the school plays, concerts, graduation ceremonies, etc. (I'm including the day care ones here) that get held during working hours and you know how badly your child will feel if he or she is one of the few without a parent in the audience. But how do you tell work you're going to miss a 1/2 day because your 3 year old is performing in her day care concert? Last spring my husband was able to make it but because I wasn't there, my daughter sat through the entire concert without uttering a word and with the saddest face you've ever seen (they took pictures - just to add insult to injury). She was looking through the crowd for me as she entered the room... but I wasn't there.
How is it even remotely possible to give 100% to being a mom and 100% to your career? It's not ... so in come the sacrifices. The weighing of each situation to see which takes priority. Who will be most upset or who loses out the most this time around? But each time you take a risk - a risk that your child is ultimately going to pay long term because you were unavailable too many times, or a risk that your work will be pissed off because you've missed to many hours due to child-related responsibilities. I know I'm not alone in this - just check out this article from the Cincinnati Enquirer about parents juggling the choice of staying home with a sick child or sending them to school sick in order not to miss work... Obviously having an understanding employer goes a long way in making this struggle easier, but even still, I totally understand that at the end of the day, all employers have a business to run. And then there's whether you love or hate your job - when you love what you do, it makes those decisions that much more agonizing!
Last week there was a segment on Fox News talking about how women actually have more guilt over working than men. It's true, I don't think my husband feels the same way. I think that as a mom, we are the ones who are expected to be there for our children. Probably because we have been the primary caregiver for so long throughout history. Should we be taking a lesson from our husbands???
I know there is so much out there on the "to work" or "not to work" debate and the effect the decision can have on our children. I think most of the research, however, shows that children of working moms turn out just fine... (i.e. article in Family Education). This does help in removing some of the guilt I carry around. I do think a lot depends on the type of woman you are - if you know you would not be a good mom if you were home full time, then that helps you feel less guilty working. If you think you can do with less (if working is about money) and be happier at home, then that works for that situation. Your children benefit when as a mom, you're also doing what makes you happy. I do feel it is essential that we don't lose our sense of self when we become a parent. By maintaining our identity as women, we can be stronger role models to our kids.
Personally, I love to work and to be challenged - I don't think I could stay home full time and be fulfilled. However, I wish, oh I wish, that I could work just a little bit less so I can have a few extra hours with my children every day. Even just enough to alleviate that feeling of being rushed so much of the time. I think if I had my dream situation, it would be to work 9 to 3, 4 days a week. But I think I would even take either 4 days at my current hours, or 5 days at 9 to 3 and be ecstatic. Who knows, maybe one day that will happen. The question remains however, will that be enough to alleviate all of my guilt? I'm not sure, but I think it would go a long way in that direction! So in the meantime, here's a video I found providing some tips on dealing with working mom guilt!
